Navigating serious illness is never easy—for the patient or their loved ones. As the journey continues, there may come a time when curative treatments are no longer as effective, or when the goal shifts from fighting the illness to focusing on comfort and quality of life. That’s where palliative care comes in.
But starting the conversation can feel overwhelming. How do you talk to a parent, spouse, or close friend about something so personal, emotional, and deeply sensitive? At Shirkey Hospice & Palliative Care, we understand how delicate these discussions can be. That’s why we’ve gathered a few compassionate tips to help you open the door to care—together.
Understand What Palliative Care Really Means
Before you begin the conversation, it’s important to understand that palliative care is not the same as hospice care. While both focus on comfort, palliative care can be provided alongside curative treatments at any stage of a serious illness. Its goal is to ease symptoms, reduce stress, and support both the patient and their family.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Look for a quiet, calm moment to begin. Avoid bringing it up during a medical emergency or a stressful time. Instead, consider:
- After a doctor’s appointment
- During a walk or shared meal
- When reflecting on care goals or health updates
Start With Empathy
Begin by sharing your feelings—not by suggesting what they should do. Try phrases like:
- “I’ve been thinking about how hard things have been lately. How are you feeling about everything?”
- “I want to make sure you’re as comfortable and supported as possible.”
“Would you be open to learning about some care options that focus on quality of life?”
Emphasize Quality of Life
Let your loved one know that palliative care isn’t about giving up—it’s about living more comfortably and fully. You might say:
- “Palliative care can help you feel more in control and improve how you feel day to day.”
“It’s not about stopping care—it’s about getting the right kind of support for what you need now.”
Listen Without Judgment
Be patient. Your loved one may feel scared, confused, or even resistant. Allow them time to process and respond. You don’t have to reach a conclusion in one conversation. Sometimes, just planting the seed is enough.
Offer Support in Taking the Next Step
Once your loved one is open to the idea, offer to help with the next step:
- “Would you like me to talk with your doctor about this with you?”
- “I can help reach out to someone from Shirkey to learn more.”
- “Let’s find out together if this might be a good fit for where you are now.”
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Our team at Shirkey Hospice & Palliative Care is here to help you have these conversations with compassion and clarity. We’re available to answer questions, provide educational materials, or even sit down with you and your loved one to discuss options in person.
Talking about palliative care can be one of the most loving conversations you have. It shows that your focus is on their comfort, dignity, and peace—no matter where the road leads.
If you’d like to talk with someone about how palliative care could support your loved one, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We’re here for you, every step of the way.